Being an adult is like looking both ways for cars...then getting hit by an aeroplane

After getting the itch to start blogging again late last year I intended to get this post up within a week or two, definitely before the end of January. Then January rolled in...& rolled out with February hot on it's tail. Each week I told myself I must to find the time to get re-acqainted back here. Then the days all blended into a blurry haze of summer heat, school holidays, back to school shopping & soaking up every drop of toilet training fails from Clay. 

In the end life just kept on spinning by while we kept up with each day - much like the last 18 months really.

Since that last post (was it really back in 2015!?!) There have been a few changes for us here at House of many Minions. 

- We bought our home. 

- Expanded our family by 4 furry feet. 

- Made plans for the future...then found out lucky number seven was on the way a little earlier than we planned.

- Started homeschooling Jack.

- Welcomed lucky number seven into our family. 

- Bought a camper trailer large enough to accomodate all nine of us (plus the two dogs) for many adventures & spontaneous weekends away.

- Seen Will off to his first year of school. 

- Realised life in the coming future with numerous teens & pre-teens is going to be much like raising over grown toddlers with a talent for food consumption of epic proportions.

It's a bit like when you catch up with a friend you haven't seen in ages & you're asked what has happened since we last caught up...everything & nothing. There's all these big life events thrown in with the spinning of day to day life. You quickly float over the mundane threads to try pick up the strands of glittery sparkle. 

The brightest sparkly thread that has woven into our lives is Kade, our seventh little minion.

After buying our first home 6 months earlier, Doug & I had this great big discussion on long term goals, achievements & where we wanted to be in the next three to four years time. This included having another baby, maybe late 2017 or during 2018...Seems this discussion was all the universe needed - just a few short weeks later two pretty pink lines threw all our well made plans into the air & changed our course to collect another passenger.

Thirty eight weeks & a car upgrade later, the newest member for the blue team declared his intention to join us earthside with a small pop of waters after dinner. Baby sitters were called, bags were thrown in the car, contractions were mild...until they weren't. My back felt like it was going to explode, my belly was having the mother of all period cramps, my mind was struggling to let go of inconveniencing all these people who had been called out of their homes so late in the evening. Then just after midnight our wriggly, cranky, serious faced boy arrived. 

Our little passenger is now fast approaching five months old & an absolute sleep depriving, time wasting, delight. He feeds like a sumo wrestler & can out-stare even the most seasoned pro in a staring competition. He thinks our bed is a hell of a lot better than his own & I'm too tired to disagree. Which means our nights consist of me creeping into bed a lot closer to midnight than conducive for optimal sleep, only to stumble out within the hour to collect Kade from his cradle (still in our room - these apron strings are a lot harder to sever this time round.) He'll latch on like starving man in front of an all you can eat buffet, before passing out in a warm, milky stupor minutes later. 

If I'm still semi conscious I'll put him back in his cradle...only to be summoned again within the hour. Rinse & repeat until the sun rises & the alarm declares the day must begin. The other alternative is to remain immobile all night long, as only a mother can, while the little bundle contentedly dozes the night through.

Right now I prefer some sleep over no sleep, so I'll continue to push Doug near out the bed while I play sleeping statues in the middle, with Kade taking prime position on my side of the bed.

We're surviving, I'm functioning - though that is up for debate some days, my coffee consumption is keeping the coffee bean business thriving & this too shall pass.

I don't want your Buns, or your Anaconda

At the risk of sounding old, or if not old then like an over concerned parent, what is with the excessive sexualizing of (most, not all) music today? Seriously, it is everywhere. I can't listen to mainstream radio without having to change between stations at least once while driving with the kids in the car.

Case in point - Anaconda. Unless you've been hibernating then you'll probably know the song I'm talking about. I can't decide what is worse, the video clip or the lyrics - D*ck bigger than a tower, I ain't talking about Eiffel's - yep, this is what's reaching the top 20 charts. The video clip is like a train wreck you can't look away from. Unless you're in our house. Then it would be a moot point as it wouldn't even be on at all. 

There's a love hate relationship building between 'New Thang' & I. It's catchy, I like it, but I hate the lyrics too & the message it's portraying, even if our kids may not understand what it means at their ages. Insinuating sex on the first date 'cos he's a player; bounce that ass so fast to make it clap (inspired from the Anaconda video clip perhaps?). 

My name ain't Santa, but she sittin' on my lap, yo........No.

No where is safe these days, despite our intentions at home the older kids still know the lyrics to songs that we don't give any attention to. I'm under no illusions that as our kids get older we can't continue to monitor the overtly sexual film clips with the barely there skimpy outfits & women fawning all over men, who ignore everything about them except their ass or breasts. Video clip shows would be more aptly named 'GaGa goes bondage' or 'Minaj-a-trios'. The greater majority of the content is soft porn any way so why not have the title match the content. 

What message is this sending to boys? That a woman (or, I hate to say it, a girl) is only worth your time of day if she has a DD cup, or a tight perky ass that can jiggle better than Homer Simpson's belly? What thoughts are young girls taking away - that they should dress in a provocative, flirty way to be noticed? Because a personality doesn't rate above a bra size. This isn't helped any with clothing stores pretty much reinforcing that message with the range of girls summer clothes available. Ass cheek skimming shorts, midriff baring tops, skirts barely long enough to cover their underwear.

What happened? When I was younger it was all about East 17, Take That & Girlfriend. Baggy pants, hats with over sized flowers & wearing overalls with one side un-hooked. No ass cheeks bouncing higher than a kid in a bouncy castle. When a midriff meant an inch of exposed skin, not breasts all but bare save a scrap of faux leather to cover the nipple.

Is it just me being to prudish? Should I have more faith in Ben & Rianan to know that what they {would be} watching or listening to is an excessive & purely hyped up manufactured image, based around unrealistic appearances, depicted to be lacking in morals & propped up with sex appeal. 

Because I'm watching these video clips & seeing all to clearly how it would be easy for unhealthy & distorted body image issues to develop, unrealistic expectations surrounding relationships & sexual behaviour begin to form. To feed their self worth from their appearance, rather than 'who' they are. 

Will the values & morals of our parenting withstand & override the manufactured glitz & glamour, the grinding dance moves & lusty looks the media keeps churning out?     

What do you think, are we being to protective by not allowing them to watch the overtly sexual video clips or listen to them either? What do you allow when it comes to mainstream music that potentially crosses the line from entertainment to inappropriate for children of a certain age? What is that age to you?

Ten years to build a ship

Having our minions quite close in age - any where from seventeen months to two & a half years apart, means that in several years time we will have a house full of teenagers all at once. I figured out that in the year 2024 we will have five teenagers - Ben will be nineteen years old & Will thirteen years old. Rianan, Jack & Blake all the ages in between, while Clay will be trialing along at ten years old. The age that Ben will be come October this year. 

Our first baby will be ten this year. Our last baby will be ten in 2024. It just doesn't seem right.

That is only ten years away. Yep, I said only. Ten years may seem like such a long way away yet, but I can remember when Ben was born back in 2004 - that was only ten years ago. If you ask me where the last ten years have gone I would have no precise answer. They have gone by so quickly. Is it because we have had five more children in that time it feels like it's all been a blur, a mash of memories that span ten years condensed into what feels like two. Or is it just 'life' these days? Everyone is getting busier & busier, the days are all merging into one long haze of time.

I wonder what our children will be like then. How chaotic will life be with so many teenagers. Will it be louder than it is now, or will they be so busy in their own lives that they are rarely home so it will be quieter than now.

I wonder who will give us the most grief, which one will finally turn Doug's hair gray. Who will keep me up at all hours of the night as I pace the floors, no longer due to an unsettled baby, but with an unsettled mind as I wait for them to come in the door. 

What will the dynamics be like between so many personalities. Ben & Rianan get along fabulously right now, will that still be the case when they are nineteen & seventeen. Jack gets a little lost in the mix at the moment, but will Ben & Jack find a more common ground together as they get older, or Jack forever be the pesky younger brother to Ben.

What mischief will they all get up to together, what will they cover up together or for one another, that Doug & I won't know about until many years down the track when we are all sitting around a meal together remincising. Then all of a sudden one of them will pipe up with "do you remember the time when....insert some crazy event here, where one helps to bail the other out of trouble & keep it quiet from Doug & I." 

Only to end with "We were so lucky Mum & Dad never found out." 

Maybe that will be the day I finally turn gray, when I discover so much more of what they got up to, that was kept quiet between the code of sibling secrecy. 

It's so easy now to get caught up in the toilet training, sight words & lexile readers, the guiding of appropriate & inappropriate language (see this post), the daily jobs chart, quiet afternoon time so little bodies can have a moment to rest, allowing small inches of freedom as they walk to a friends house down the road.

One day all this will be a distant memory & we'll be in the thick of teenage social lives, sports practice & weekend matches, after school jobs, homework assignments & end of year exams. 

Will I look back on this time & wish for it back because it all seemed so much easier. Maybe we'll be one of the lucky few who manage to get through the teenage years with little angst & family bonds intact. I know the hell I put my parents through for eighteen months before settling down & finding my feet in a new found independence. It kind of seems inevitable, like a right of parenthood passage that must be passed through - both the calm seas & the rough, stormy waves.

I hope that we are building our ship strong enough now, in these founding years, that it emerges on the other side, maybe a little worn but still afloat. At least for now, we still have a few more years to get the sails up & any leaky holes patched.

Time, I wish you would slow down a little.