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Tuesday, July 8, 2014

Unsung hereos



Behind the scenes there is someone who helps me hold it all together, who without him life wouldn't be as amazing as it is.

Someone who sacrifices so much for his family. Sanity being one of them.

But seriously, Doug is my co-hero, my co-pilot, the man who helps hold everything together when I don't have the energy to some days. He is my day off, he is my motivational speaker, he is my calm when I'm feeling anything but, just as I am his.

Working over fifty hours a week & still each night when he comes home...he keeps going. Instead of going straight to the couch he goes straight to the kitchen to see if I need a hand with anything for dinner. Instead of wanting space from the demands put on him, he scoops up Blake & Will tickling their feet while they giggle & shriek upside down. Instead of retreating somewhere quiet to have some downtime, he talks with Ben & Rianan about their day, their friends, what or who they played with after school. He listens to Jack get excited about his soccer match & the many slide tackles he did - in detail. He'll take Clay who is squirming & grizzling on my shoulder, so I don't have to juggle & multitask with one arm trying to cook dinner. 


Then there's the days where instead of cooking dinner all I want to do is sit on the couch & not have to do anything. With a tribe of kids to cook dinner for though it's kind of a necessity. Feeding seven people also means that whipping up a quick meal for two is impossible, & take out becomes as expensive as a trip to Bali. I'm willing to admit there are evenings when Doug walks in the door & instead of being greeted with the smell of dinner cooking, he walks into the chaos of a routine gone AWOL.

Rather than throwing his arms up & walking back out the door, he rolls his sleeves up & gets the pots & pans out. Within thirty minutes dinner is ready, the kids have done their delegated jobs, I've come out of the fetal position in the corner & some order of balance has appeared.

Someone else to pick up the balls that I dropped, to put the wheels back on that fell off, to pick up the tools when I feel like I'm done with the day. To receive as much recognition as I do, but doesn't.

Doug is who the kids go to when they want an extra cookie after dinner, who gives up watching the news to listen to the kids while we eat dinner. The one the kids ask for another piece of chocolate - because they know Mum rarely shares hers. Doug is the parent who can bring the kids into line when they get hyped up & my voice no longer has an impact. Doug is the parent who takes the kids out in the mud, gets the pencils & sits down with them designing super race cars & mega spaceships. Doug is the 'fun' parent, especially when I'm all 'activity' worn out.  

Doug does almost as much of the parenting, the caring, the cooking, the discipline, the cuddles, the teaching, the cleaning, the guiding of values & morals. But because he is rarely seen by others in this role (for working many hours) he is often unnoticed. Not that he needs me, or anyone else, to validate his worth & efforts. 

Occasionally Dad's are overlooked, just because the Mother is (usually) the primary caregiver, so presumed the 'primary parent' in all aspects & the one who is acknowledged for raising the children. 

This is to all the unseen Dad's, the Dad's of one, the Dad's of many. 
To Doug, the Daddy to our minions.
For all the unsung heroes.
Thank you. 
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